Todd Haberkorn, Man of My Dreams

I had an awesome dream. I went to a comic con and got to meet Todd Haberkorn (English dubbed voice of Natsu). I specifically wanted a picture with him showing off his Fairy Tail tattoo. After the picture, I also had something for him to sign, and I asked him to address it to “Rhov.”

He suddenly looked up wide-eyed. “THE Rhov?”

My heart just sort of froze. “Oh shit. Have you heard of me?” Instantly, I was thinking he had heard terrible rumors about some wannabe writer ruining the fandom by taking the characters he loves (and the Natsu he voices) and turning them into rambling romances and petty porn. I was starting to shake that he would be repulsed, maybe sneer, or at least scold me for corrupting the characters he loves so much. (My insecurities know no bounds.)

Instead, Todd suddenly leaped up and gave me a killer hug, and I was flailing like Lucy. “Wh-wh-what are you doing?" People were staring and whispering. My husband was giving death glares from the sidelines.

He shouted, “Oh my God, you’re Rhov the writer! I love your fanfics. I read them between recording sessions.”

Now my heart really did stop. “You… YOU read my fanfics?”

"Totally. I love that gory horror story you’re writing." Suddenly, Todd-frigging-Haberkorn began an impromptu dialog between Natsu and Feral Natsu, speaking the inner beast in the same Gollum-like voice I imagine in my head.

I suddenly started going into an asthma attack out of shock. “Oh…my God… You… you like Beastly Possession?”

He just laughed and waved for my husband to come and hold me while I was wheezing and grabbing my chest. “Yeah, I’ve got some of the other guys reading them, too. Once after work, we went out drinking, and me and Newton (voice of Gray) began reading parts from one of your slash works. I thought Colleen Clinkenbeard was gonna piss herself.” (That’s Erza, FYI.)

I was in tears at that point, and I really did think he was some sort of superman, swooping in to rescue me from my insecurities. In quavering whispers, I told him: “I write because I love to entertain, that’s all. It’s been my dream to write something people will remember, to be a name that people will say ‘Oh yeah, I loved her story, it really moved me.’ Todd… I may not have published a bestselling novel yet, but I think today, my dream just came true.”

He gave me a warm hug, whispered something (in that amazing voice of his) about “Keep chasing after your dreams,” and then… I woke up, tears of happiness still in my eyes, a fire in my heart, ready for another day of writing. I doubt anyone involved in the making of Fairy Tail actually reads my fanfiction, but… maybe… just maybe…

Feral Natsu Has Fans

So, apparently a fan (that is a weird word to use) created a blog on Tumblr just for my fanfic Beastly Possession. She has been posting some outrageously amazing artwork there, and for Christmas she wrote a "special" featuring the alternate personality I created for Natsu Dragneel, known to the fans as Feral Natsu.

I'm stunned that something I wrote as an experiment (can I write horror and do I enjoy writing that genre) has inspired others so deeply.

http://feralnatsu.tumblr.com/post/71056285983/the-night-before-christmas

The End of 2011

Okay, so I'm sitting here in the last days of 2011 thinking back over the year, trying to remember good times, bad times, and what was memorable.

That... is a problem. I really can't remember anything memorable.

I mean, we took a vacation to see family in California this past Thanksgiving, and that is most definitely noteworthy, considering we hadn't been back in four years. But what happened otherwise?

Every time I think of something, it dawns on me that, nope, that was LAST year. "Oh, my parents came to visit for 3 weeks." Nope last winter they did, but they left before New Year. "Oh! My best friend visited." Nope, last year too. My in-laws took a trip up this summer, and that was nice, but they often do that.

* What did I do for Valentine's Day? No clue.
* What about Spring Break? Honestly can't recall.
* Hubby got a real good job, which is awesome beyond belief after the crap he's been through.
* This summer, the in-laws visited, went to the coast for a day, saw some museums... otherwise, I didn't do much.
* What did I do for my birthday? Well, we saw Phantom of the Opera and that was awesome.
* We had that flood upstairs that drenched us downstairs... guh, not something to be remembered.
* My hubby finally got the electric guitar he was obsessing over for months.
* We missed Talk Like A Pirate Day.
* We sort of ignored Halloween.
* I never got to go to a write-in for NaNoWriMo.
* Then I had an abscessed tooth that laid me up for many weeks with a fever and swollen face before I finally found a dentist who would pull it.
* The 8 days in California were awesome, at least.

* My hubby didn't really want to do anything for his birthday and just wanted Pizza Hut.
* Christmas was pretty quiet, just dinner with the uncle.
* New Year's Eve looks like it'll be quiet too.

The thing that will stand out about 2011 is my plunge into fan fiction. I tested the waters out last year, but this past summer was when I discovered the manga Fairy Tail and got sucked in. I'm now making a bit of a name for myself (or at least "Rhov" is) writing for the Fairy Tail community. "Lion's Pride" is my own little source of pride. I've been meeting other aspiring writers, and although I think the average age is 17, it's still nice to chat with new people. I feel like an elderly sage giving them advice. Maybe it's a short-lived obsession, but I will likely keep writing fanfics for Fairy Tail in 2012, at least finishing up the stories I've started.

Otherwise, I did very little writing, no noteworthy photography, I'm playing percussion instead of my darling trombone until I get the rest of my dental work done, didn't go sailing, didn't get to walk along the beach despite being in Astoria this summer and being in California only minutes from the beach! I missed the Perseid meteor shower for maybe the first time ever, I didn't get to pick blackberries, I did almost nothing for NaNoWriMo... sort of a let-down of a year.

Except in fan fiction... which is sort of an ephemeral fame, people adore your writing but forget about it the next day as they read the avalanche of verbose tripe that overwhelms that site every hour.

Now 2012 is looming like that shadow you feel before you see anything. There are, of course, dooming theories about this upcoming year. We had enough "end of the world" prophecies this year. Nothing happened. People thought the "Occupy" movement would rock the foundations of society. Nothing happened. So maybe we're getting jaded. Even if we knew for certain the day and hour Armageddon was coming, half the population would still say, "Well, if it comes, it comes, I ain't waiting for it to end." Maybe the Mayans knew something, maybe they just ran out of room and the Mayan calender is the Y2K of the ancient world.

In any case, I'll keep writing, I'll keep trying to get published, I'll complete that fanfic I've started, I'll keep hoping I can one day finish Shadowstrider, and I'll continue to be a loving wife, a good child, a musician, a writer, a sailor, and a geek girl... all for the price of one!

I ain't waiting for it to end.

OTP

OTP

One True Pairing

I write fan fiction, obviously. I have two accounts, one that is clean and one that I created to "hide" my more risqué works. They're not necessarily all about sex, mind you. Rated M is also for blood and gore, or in general for "adult themes." One of my stories is Rated M because the girl gets drunk and flashes her boobs. Nothing happens until the very end... when she gets her first kiss. Yup, it's that non-sexual! But it's still M.

Then there are the ones that define "Rated M," stories that will make you blush and will probably make my parents disown me. It's taken me years to break down my barriers as a writer, to be strong enough to not simply write "they kissed and tumbled back onto the bed; then the next morning..." but to write some content into what the audience can already guess was a wild night of raw passion. I guess I really didn't feel adequate to write material like that until I got married. "Write what you know"... right?

With fanfiction, I have an audience eager to read "those sorts of stories." In fact, they thrive on it.

When I saw in the Fairy Tail listing on Fanfiction.net that there are 25 Rated-M stories about the character Loke, and 5 are mine (well, 6 if you count the French translation of "Lion's Pride" that Meijishi is uploading) I realized I have two problems: one, I'm obsessed with Loke (hell, I even wrote a slash with him); two, I have a very perverted mind (did I mentioned the slash...with Natsu?)

These are all of my Loke stories, including the "clean" ones on my "good girl alter-ego" account:

Box of 'Nip - clean and cute, although technically Loke is "stoned" on catnip
Cat Bath - so dirty, it had to take place in a shower
Crouching Lion, Horny Dragon - slash... also the worst title EVER! But too funny to change it.
Ephemeral Sakura, Eternal Love - M for gore and drunken booby flashes.
From Lion To Kitten - Loke and Lucy as children... uber cuteness!
Kitty Licks - just as perverted as you're imagining
Lion's Pride - my epic and serious piece... except for the lemon in chapter one. I probably scare people away with that. Or draw them in.
Quest for the Master Key - song-fic about Loke and Lucy.
Sayonara, Saiai No Shishi - Japanese for "Farewell, Beloved Lion." Seriously, the saddest story I have ever written.

OTP means "one true pairing," and in fanfics it's the couple you personally think makes the perfect pair. It might be the obvious main male protagonist and main heroine, or it might be the obscure villain who had a shared past with the heroine. Reasons vary as wildly as just who should match up.

For me, Fairy Tail's main girl Lucy belongs with the Spirit of the Lion, the only character who has so far confessed his love to her (although she brushed him off) and the one whose life she saved: Loke, AKA Leo the Lion. There are too many reasons why I think Lucy and Loke belong together, why they are my OTP, rather than pairing her with Natsu or Gray.

Well... maybe Gray. He's cute too. Don't even tempt me to write a slash about Loke and Gray... yummm!

Yup, I need a cure to my obsession. Maybe I'll adopt a ginger cat and name him Loke. It'll be very awkward to write lemons with my kitty staring at me.

Why Fan Fiction?

Up until 2011, like many other writers, I scoffed the idea of fan fiction. The characters were not original, the setting was already made up by the author, so really all a fanfic writer had to do was come up with a plot. And sometimes not even that much. "PWP" (plot-what-plot, or alternatively "porn without plot") is popular for a reason.

Not that I didn't sometimes dabble in writing Star Trek episodes. It can get addicting, certainly! But it seemed like every story I opened on Fanfiction.net was riddled with grammar errors and meandering plots. I think the infamous "My Immortal" Harry Potter fanfic epitomized the stereotype of bad (really bad) writing. So bad, I only managed three chapters before I felt physically ill.

Then a crazy plot dropped into my head, a novel-size story on Quantum Leap, my favorite show as a kid and what got me fascinated in history. So I set up an account and began uploading chapters. I discovered something unique in this experiment. Readers leave comments, and although 90% or them are simple "I liked this so please update soon," there are little gems out there, readers who want quality, will praise you if you deliver, and most important to me, readers who will gladly critique you. Sometimes harshly!

This equals instant gratification.

Coming Up With Lion's Pride

This summer, I got addicted to the manga Fairy Tail and of course began writing on that. It was a crazy idea, hooking up the two characters who I thought made the most adorable pair, the Spirit Mage Lucy and her Spirit of the Leo Constellation, a playboy named Loke. Lion's Pride was going to be one of those notorious PWP stories, except... I got rave reviews. On my first day of publishing, 77 people read the story, and many left reviews. By the end of the week, over 300 people had read this and wanted more.

Who was I to refuse!

So a second chapter went up. This time, 100 people read it on the first day. I was spurred on. My imagination, which had been plagued with writer's block, suddenly opened by the cheers of adoring readers who claimed this story of mine, one I put so little effort into, was one of those "diamonds in the rough" that are the treasure of Fanfiction.net.

My ego was rising with the helium of compliments, and with it my love for writing took flight once more.

That was in August. By the end of that month, I had six chapters up and about 250 regular readers with more drifting in every day. Through September, I regularly updated a chapter every four days, which was probably insane of me, except I was really falling in love with the story. My Muse could not be stopped. My day was filled with writing, editing, responding to reviews and private messages. One reader from France offered to translate my story. I'm still in shock that I can read my story in French! Corbleu! I chatted with a few readers who I now count as friends. For me, writing had never been so much fun.

October saw some problems. I sprained my wrist and could not type well. Still, I pushed onward, cutting down to a chapter a week. Then I needed emergency surgery. I had a buffer, so I kept updating even while bed-bound. I did not want to stop. I felt a duty to my readers. I had the whole story outlined. I wrote out the ending, since that is always the hardest for me.

On the side, I was still writing one-shots. The fans from Lion's Pride would read those as well. I had "followers," scary as that sounds. People began to notice my name in other places. "Rhov" was becoming something of a celebrity in my small circle of fanfic folks. My husband joked that I spent at least an hour a day replying to "fan mail."

I felt an obligation to keep my readers entertained.

This is not a feeling you get when you write a stand-alone novel. Maybe for epic series, but normally... "obligation to entertain" is not something solitary writers feel. Since I'm also a musician, I comprehend this emotion, and I'm amazed to feel it in writing as well. What sort of writer would also feel this drive and loyalty?

Mangaka! Or as most people would know it, Japanese comic artists. The same talented people I'm emulating.

I just published my 20th chapter tonight. It's November, Nanowrimo time, so I have stopped writing Lion's Pride. I have two more chapters in my buffer to wrap up Part One, and then I plan on taking a hiatus until December. I feel... sad. I know I need to stop obsessing, but I feel worried that if I stop now, the steam will fade away. I won't feel the same rush.

Then I look at how many people are just discovering this story. Every day, I pick up at least 5 new readers. Even if I need to take time off for Nanowrimo, that means 150 new readers will be there to welcome me back.

So Why Fan Fiction?

Some of you might ask, why did I so suddenly venture into the tripe-filled cesspool of fan fiction? After all, it is a community overrun by teens who want to live out their Mary Sue dreams of being in an anime or falling for a movie star. Who wouldn't love to be swept into an adventure with Harry Potter, or have a vampire all to yourself? But why am I "sinking" to such a level?

I recently read a forum where a writer asked such a question. How is it that writers who obviously have talent would "demean" themselves by "wasting" such inspiration on something for which they could never get paid?

Why would I waste three months writing Lion's Pride, a story where I must put a disclaimer that I do not own the rights to the manga, a story I cannot make money on, a story that--according to that particular forum writer--is a medium best occupied by teens still trying to grow in their feathers, not a full-fledged adult who has published and gets paid to write material?

Simple answer: Instant gratification!

Think about it. You slave over your beloved novel, which may take a year to finish. You then spend months if not years being rejected by agent after agent, editor after editor. If you are deemed lucky enough to get your foot in the door, then you get your story shredded in editing and rewriting, until you think you are a horrible writer. Finally, it gets published, and instead of an instant New York Times bestseller, you realize that selling a few hundred in the first week is the best you can do. Friends who said they would buy your book don't. Family might buy one copy and pass it around. Then you get reviews. The negative ones hit you hard, because these are there for the whole world to see. Your family questions why you would write such a thing. You slink back to your keyboard hoping that maybe the sequel will do better.

That is traditional publishing.

Here is Fan Fiction.

You write the first chapter. You do not even have to have the whole plot laid out. You stick it out there like sending your first 10 pages to an agent. Instead of months of rejections, within minutes you get reviews. Some praise you. Some correct you. You can instantly edit your story to help improve based on those comments. For each chapter, you garner more readers and more reviews. Every step of the way, you're boosted. True, some of these readers might not recognize tripe if it was shoved down their throats, but others are quite discerning. You feel loved. When you finish the story, the writing process is over. You aren't plagued with the fear of months of upcoming rejections. It's already published! Your payment was during the writing phase, all those comments. You feel accomplished and enthusiastic to write more.

Fan fiction for me is a place where I can experiment. I can write on subjects that are too risqué. I can get feedback besides "We are not looking for this sort of story at this time." I can discover my strengths rather than get bombarded with my shortcomings. Fanfics make me love writing again.

Writing a story with characters from another story happens all the time. Shakespeare did it in many of his plays. Every fairy tale remake and comic-book-turned-movie could be considered "fan fiction" in a way. Except fanfic writers don't care about money. We do this for fun and for ourselves.

Saying that writers who write fan fiction is a waste of talent is like saying a doctor running a free clinic is a waste of talent. Money and profit do not even enter a fanfic writer's head. We wish to entertain and improve ourselves. Just because I've published a few things does not mean I am the pinnacle of writing success. Hell no! I want to improve. I want others to read my stuff.

Heck, if I ever publish my novel, I would be giddy to sneak onto Fanfiction.net and write some slash between my characters. It's fun to free one's imagination.

That's why I write fan fiction.

If you want to read the story of stuff I do, you can read Lion's Pride, but do be careful. It's rated "M" for a reason.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7254845/1/Lions_Pride

Oh and... review my story! ^_^