Survey Galore

Your IQ Is 135

Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Are a Total Brainiac

You’re amazingly brilliant. Some would even say genius. You’re curious, thoughtful, analytical, and confident. You take on difficult subjects because you want to... not because you have to. No field of knowledge is too complicated or intimidating for you. You’ve got the brains to do anything you want. It’s possible you end up doing everything you want.

Are You a Brainiac?

Your Vocabulary Score: A

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How’s Your Vocabulary?

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows. You don’t believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love. For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding. You don’t feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you’re both in it for the long run. Why your love can last: You don’t take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily Why your love can fail: You’re so committed, you often can’t see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What Is Your Love Based On?

Your Love Quote

True love stories never have endings.

What Love Quote Suits You?

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay "Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah they were all yellow" You’re so in love, it’s like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

You Should Be a Teacher

You are patient, optimistic, and good at explaining things. You work well with all types of people, and you are a good role model. Success and positive outcomes are extremely important to you. You are both a good leader and instructor. People look up to and depend on you. You do best when you: - Can see the results of your work - Are able to teach someone a new skill You would also be a good nurse or non fiction writer.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

You Should Be a Poet

You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences. Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you’re from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you’ll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it’s epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique. You’re probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?

You Should Learn French

C’est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you’ll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don’t know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What’s Your Beer Personality?

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you’re so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

You Belong in the Silent Generation

You fit in best with people born between 1925 and 1942. You are a person of high values and character. Family, your country, loyalty, and hard work all important to you. You are willing to do what’s right, even when it’s difficult.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

You Belong in 1964

You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Have Not Been Ruined by American Culture

You’re nothing like the typical American. In fact, you may not be American at all. You have a broad view of the world, and you’re very well informed. And while you certainly have been influenced by American culture (who hasn’t?), it’s not your primary influence. You take a more global philosophy with your politics, taste, and life. And you’re always expanding and revising what you believe.

Has American Culture Ruined You?

You Are 70% "Average American"

You are average because you’ve known your best friend for at least ten years. You are not average since you would pay to go in space.

How "Average American" Are You?

You Are 64% Weirdo

You’re a pretty weird soul, and you often can’t help but notice how strange you are. You simply see things very differently. So you live your life in a very unusual way. Who cares if you don’t fit in? Just remember to embrace your inner weirdo... because there’s no hiding it.

Are You A Weirdo?

There’s a 84% Chance You’ve Been Abducted By Aliens

You’ve almost certainly been abducted by aliens. Either that, or you’re totally certifiably nuts.

What Are the Chances that You’ve Been Abducted by Aliens?

You Should Get A Butterfly Tattoo

Sweet and sassy For you, tattoos are a thing of beauty - not toughness

What Tattoo Should You Get?

Your Pirate Name Is...

Iron Mistress of Death

What’s Your Pirate Name?

Orange County

You’re rich, pretty, and living a charmed life. (Or you seriously wish you were.) From Disneyland to Laguna Beach, you’re all about living the California dream life. Just make sure to marry rich - so you don’t have to work for it!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino

One of a kind and forward looking, you’re the first to introduce a wacky new trend to your friends. And even if your ideas seem weird, they get adopted pretty quickly.

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

Your 80s Theme Song Is:

Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison

What’s Your 80s Theme Song?

You’re a Pack Rat in Training

You know those crazy old people with a ton of video tapes and cats? Well, you’re training to be one. Time to do some spring cleaning. Even if it isn’t spring!

Are You a Pack Rat?

Your Social Anxiety Level: 88%

You have extreme social anxiety. Your social phobia is a serious problem for you, and you definitely need help. And while getting help may seem very scary, it’s your only choice... except for hermitude!

Are You Socially Anxious?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are balanced, peaceful, and sincere. You’re the type of person who goes along to get along. And you’re definitely afraid of rocking the boat. Underneath it all, you fear your world falling apart. You’ll put up with a situation that you don’t like in fear of changing it. Disruptive and forceful people intimidate you - and sometimes exploit you.

What’s the Part of You That No One Sees?

You Are A Fig Tree

You are very independent and strong minded. A hard worker when you want to be, you play hard too. You are honest and loyal. You hate contradiction or arguments. You love life, and you live for your friends, children, and animals. A great sense of humor, artistic talent, and intelligence are all gifts you possess.

What’s Your Celtic Horoscope?

Your Power Bird is an Eagle

You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights. You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance. And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you’re worth it. People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

What’s Your Power Bird?

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you’re flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you’ll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways. You tend to focus on color and movement in art. For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail. You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

What Art Movement Are You?

You Are Best Described By...

Impression, Sunrise By Claude Monet

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

Your Inner Muse is Euterpe

You are most like this muse of music. While you may or may not be musical... You love music and set life to your own personal soundtrack. And you are good at making anyone’s heart sing!

What Muse Are You?

You Are Psyche!

Eternally in search of purpose and insight. You’re curious and creative with a total sense of wonder. Totally empathetic, you pick up on other’s moods easily. Just be sure to pamper yourself as well!

What Goddess Are You?

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you’re karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How’s Your Karma?

You Were An Owl

You are stealthy and secretive - no one knows the true you. You are a seeker of freedom, and you are comfortable with your dark side.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don’t always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Power Element is Water

Your power colors: blue and aqua Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion. You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul. A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem. You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream.

What’s Your Power Element?

You Are an Old Soul

You are an experienced soul who appreciates tradition. Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone. Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient. A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people. You hate injustice, and you’re very protective of family and friends A bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others. Extremely independent you don’t mind living or being alone. But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Ultimate Emo

My husband and I were talking about ultimate emo sayings. He declared I won when we both burst out laughing at this:

"My life is a rose plucked from the grave of a loved one, sliced with a rusted knife, and scattered in the litter box of a diarrhetic cat."



Got a good emo phrase? Reply with your suggestions. Let’s laugh at their misery!

Go ahead, ask me about dragons!

I've been working on Blue Fire Dragon for a while now. I have 22 chapters, which I think is very good progress, but now I'm getting into some heavy dragon lore sections.

What do they eat?
How do they breath fire?
What is their physiology?
Do they have spikes and horns?
How long do they live?
Are they telepathic?
Do dragons have two feet and a pair of wings/arms, or four feet and wings for a total of 6 appendages?
Do I want to go with Flight of Dragons where they eat limestone and Thor's Thimble lights the spark, or do I go with Reign of Fire and the dragon spits two chemicals that react together to make natural napalm?

Now, I could go the easy route and mimic past writers. While doing internet research, I have found that many people like the "Dragons of Pern" series. No, not "like;" they worship it! These people think they were dragonriders in another life. That shows a very talented writer, to have such a fanatic following. However, I'm decidedly avoiding reading any of those books until after I'm done with this novel. I'm restricting my reading to the classics and serious studies of dragon anatomy (if they really existed, they would have to be hollow boned, else they would never get off the ground, and the wingspan would be massive and involve huge wing muscles, leaving little physical room for the idea that they had four legs plus wings, and dragons themselves would be much smaller than the knights of yore claimed, frickin baggarts!)

I'm stretching out to a variety of cultures: Japanese, European, Russian, Middle Eastern, Egyptian, Babylonian. If they had a big lizard, I've read the legends. Wyverns, wyrms, drakes, ouroboros, amphipter, the lindworm, naga, cockatrice, basilisks, you name it!

After all this studying, I'm left with a dragon that I hope is unique, bit of a blend of numerous legends with my own twists. Kismet (my dragon) is a cute little guy right now, two swooped back horns on his head (for aerodynamics) with eye ridges (like eyebrows, but bone) and protective horns over his spit glands (two lumps on the corners of his mouth, as many dragons are described having). He has two legs and a pair of wings, a "wyvern" style apparently, but I was thinking a bit more like raptors with wings. For dang fierce chickens! I wanted to keep the physicality to a dinosaur style, and although my husband wants me to change it to four legs and wings, physically this works better. Something like a swan meets a bat and breeds with a lizard. Uh, yeah.

The fun part was coming up with a unique yet physically plausible way of flaming. Dragons in my story use a mix of gastrointestinal fumes (smelly burps) and the spit glands which ignite upon contact with oxygen and is intensified by the gas.

I'll scan in my concept drawing later. I'm no artist, but it helps me get an idea of what I want. Lots of playing around with the design.

Dune Inspirations

I've drawn a total blank in writing Shadowstrider. I took a bit of a chance, thought I'd try my hand at a scene with a sort of James Bond feel to it. Actually, it's a bit more like "Splinter Cell" in the whole sneak in and don't get caught idea, not the suave libertine like Bond who comes in dressed to kill and introduces himself to every pretty girl in the room. Anyway, I decided to makes this the finale of Book Seven, got it set up real great, even wrote an outline, and I never use outlines. Then as I started up writing and... blank!!! Just blank. I haven't been able to write more than a couple paragraphs since the New Year.

I need some sort of escape from all the depressing crap going on in my family, so I've switched to a story I haven't worked on in years, a nice little dragon fantasy. I'm hoping it cheers me up and gets me through this block on my main project.

However, this story has heavy Middle Eastern influences. The setting is a desert planet, very Dune-esque. Most of the characters have Arabic, Jewish, or Persian names with a few African, Indian, Turkish, Albanian, Japanese, and even Swedish influences throughout. Things like food and fashion are all desert style, with abayas and salwar-kameez and dupattas and keffiyehs and eating baba ghanoush and drinking qawah. Very fun to write.

Now my husband is wondering why the hell I'm looking up all this Arabic information. He raises an eyebrow every time I start mentioning about Islam and various beliefs and traditions I find interesting and try incorporating into the story. He's worried that too much obvious Middle Eastern themes will hurt the book by drawing heating attacks, both from the Muslim community who may think I'm mocking them, and from Muslim haters who will think I'm a terrorist supporter or something. I'm left wondering why I can't give a nod to Frank Herbert without it becoming a political issue.

I may post an excerpt in a couple days. One thing about my story that goes against the "traditional" dragon lore yet follows the more modern assumptions about dragon physicality: my dragons are vegans! Wohoo!!!

Writing Advice for the Creatively Inept, Part II

I decided to continue with this series because I see so much bad writing out there, browsing through excerpts from fellow Nanowrimo competitors. Please read more advice here.

Continuing on:

Seven, to avoid the revisions your editor will give you anyway, proofread your own work for weaknesses. Look for passive tense (remember E-Prime from Part I?)

A good hint at finding where your work might need strengthened is to simply do a search for the word "There" at the beginning of sentences. Set your Find&Replace to match case, and see how many times you start a sentence with that weak word. Chances are, it will also be a passive phrase. Same for "It." I give a 90% chance that you will look at all the sentences beginning with "There" and "It" and think to yourself "What the hell was that about?" Explain "It."

"There was a loud noise. It woke me up." This weak line can easily be spruced up to "A crashing sound in the driveway set the neighbor's dogs barking and forced me away from sweet dreams of kissing Sue."

I also go through and replace "was" just by habit. Not 100% removal, as I would if I followed E-Prime, but enough to seek out weaknesses. "It was cold" is a sentence first graders learn. Write like you at least attended high school! "The frost bit my nose like an angry cat and decorated my windows with Winter's lacy undergarments." Wohoo, see how you can make things sound great? It's so easy.

Eight, and here's a tough one... keep dialog free and flowing. Unless your character is a vampire from the 12th century and speaks very formal for a reason, chances are your character will be an average joe who uses slang and incomplete sentences. "I couldn't make it to the store. Damn Walmart. Always open my ass."

In a creative writing class, my fellow students severely criticized me because one of my characters didn't cuss enough. I thought they were nutters (I rarely cuss) until I read through the story years later and realized they were right. For the girl's personality, her use of profanity should be extreme to an almost comical level. I still don't like cussing, but I invent characters who are not necessarily reflections of myself.

Nine, make your characters so distinct in their speech, either with phrases they overuse, accents, or just by the way they present their opinions, their tone of voice and manners, that during long dialog passages you can avoid "he said/she said." I hate those. Read Section Three for more. At the very least, get creative. Come on, how many of us talk so dull in our lives that we simply "say" something? We gasp, shout, vent, whisper, expound, yip, tattle, tantalize, leer, jeer, peer. Avoid "he said" by telling us what he did.

"Never!" John's words echoed through the empty hall.
"Sorry, mate," Bill shrugged casually.
"I will never give in to you." His hand swiped out so hard it broke the vase. "I thought you were my friend."
"Just a messanger, y'know."
"You'll have to fight me."
"Look, mate, I ain't fightin' no one."
"Fight! I know you can!"
"Eh, it ain't my choice, y'know."
"Fight me, you coward!"
"Coward what now? Mate, I'm just here to tell you, y'know. It ain't nuttin' personal."
"You're all bastards, every one of you. You're all alike."
"Maybe so, mate, but I don't wanna kill you."
"Coward!"

Can you tell John from Bill? Of course you can! Anger on one side, aloof nonchalance on the other, a bit of an accent, that's all it takes. Make me see your dialog like a movie in my head.

Ten, and for this I will use alliteration to emphasize my point ... ahem ... please, people, punctuate properly. Thank you, thank you!

Seriously, though, punctuation goes inside quotes. I can't tell you how many emails I get that say, "It's a joke", he said, "get it"?

OMG people, did you drop out of 3rd grade? If you write like this, please do not shoot yourself when your editor turns you down after skimming the first page. Then again, if you write that bad, maybe you should voluntarily cleanse the gene pool. I have a revolver under the bed for you to use!

The only time I can think of offhand (and it's bloody early, so don't kill me on this) is when you use quotes outside of dialog. Example: What did John mean by "It'll be exciting"?

Of course, ideally you should use italics, but that's all I can come up with. Otherwise, quote are like condoms, they wrap around to protect. You don't want to catch a communicative disease, you know.


Happy writing, and rewriting, and rewriting....

Thanksgiving Idiot

I wasn't going to post about this, but I figured it's a good lesson to everyone out there. Learn from my idiocy!

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and dinner was at my place. My hubby's uncle said he was coming at 4pm, and I know his family tends to eat early. Now, I learned a thing or two about etiquette, including how to set a formal table, how to fold napkins into interesting designs, and how to time all your cooking so that everything is hot and ready when your guests arrive. I turned off the stove, put everything on the table, and was ready to go two minutes before 4. Then Matt's uncle was an hour late. Then he decided he wasn't hungry and wanted to watch a movie. So we watched Fantastic 4 since he hadn't seen it. By the time it was over, it was 7:30 and dinner was icy. So I decided to toss it all in the stove and warm it real quick, that way it doesn't have that microwaved dryness about it (dry turkey, yuck!)

My logic was, the stove had been off 3.5 hours, it was cool (no heat when I opened it), so I just grabbed the casserole dishes and turkey pan and tossed them all in at once. No gloves, no mitts.

Folks, I don't care if that stove has been off all frickin' day, put a glove on!!!

Typical, I was in a hurry, and my hand hit the top grill of the stove. Ouch, hot, no pain, kept loading. It wasn't until I finished putting the dishes in there and started the stove up that I looked to see how bad the burn was.

Still no pain ... because there was no skin!

It looks a lot better today. Just to gross you all out and show you to always ALWAYS be careful, I should have snapped a picture of just how nasty that burn looked.

My index finger isn't too bad, some melted skin and a blister. My ring finger was spared injury by hitting the stove with my wedding ring (the stone was big enough to deflect it, don't worry, the ring is not damaged). However, my middle finger has a long gash like I got attacked by a Doberman, and about three centimeters of that is burned through the dermis, deep and white! That means 3rd degree. It's small, so I'm not going to the hospital unless it continues to be a problem, but you can see the different skin layers as the burn moves out. There was also a long section of melted skin that just fell off eventually. Yeah, nasty.

I ran cold water, but it didn't hurt, so idiot me figures I'll be fine, and I have a guest to entertain. I put Neosporin on it and a band-aid and just waved it off with a laugh. But then...

Y'know, I burned myself this bad once before. I should have known it was coming. Still, it's a shock when a part of your body which feels fine at the moment suddenly feels like it has been submerged into a vat of liquid metal. There I was, trying to keep conversation going and cut my turkey, when all my brain knows is the fires of Hell and they are concentrated into my left hand straight into my middle finger like I'm whoring Satan's mistress or something. I excused myself, hid an icepack in my lap napkin, and avoided anything I couldn't eat one-handed. Once dinner was over - almost crying by now - I ran to my bedroom, took the strongest painkiller I could find, and fell asleep with an icepack sitting on my hand unsuccessfully attempting to quench the flames.

Moral of the story: never assume a stove is cold. Always examine burns as soon as they happen. Even if there is no pain, keep that cold water running on it. And most important, entertaining your hubby's uncle is not as important as caring for a 3rd degree burn.


Thought for the day:

If your motto is "Live and Learn," prepare to have 911 on speed-dial.

Writing Advice for the Creatively Inept

People often ask what advice I can give them to help promote their writing career. The following assumes you know how to write. These are ways to take that short story or novel an clean it up.

One: beware the verb "to be." Learn to eradicate it whenever possible. Don't become anal about it, though. I mean, we don't want to exterminate "to be" from the English language. Just realize this world contains a plethora of descriptive verbs waiting for us writers to manipulate them like tools. Using "to be" tempts a writer to fall back into lazy styles: simple words, writing without thought, and the dreaded passive voice. The next thing you know, your work sounds like an eighth grader typed it up while using meth. Passive tense haunts me, and I constantly fight the urge.

How do you prevent this habit? By using something you probably never leaned in high school: E-Prime. It forces writers to really think about what words we use. Often, we write simply to get words out of our heads before the concept vanishes. In moments like that, we forget what we learned in school and go barbaric, chaotic. E-Prime forces us back into a study of words. Just try it. Take a short story or poem and go psycho with E-Prime. Give the proverbial birdie to Shakespeare's "to be or not to be." Be creative! I bet the weaknesses in your work will jump at you like monkeys at a banana-scented tourist.

Two, for god's sake, people, learn to establish and stick to a verb tense. I had a college professor who pointed this out to me rather harshly, in front of the whole class, then spent the rest of the night going over basic grammar because obviously none of us knew anything and we were all as juvenile as 2nd graders. You think middle school kids can be cruel, imagine a forum filled with college students glaring at you because you made some taboo mistake and now they ALL are paying by the most hideously boring class in the history of college-dom. I've never made the mistake again. Don't suddenly say "They went to the fair, but he forgets his glasses." Went implies past, they already visited that fair, like yesterday, or last century. Forgets implies present. See the clash? In a creative writing class, they called me the Tense Terror and Grammar Goblin because I jumped on peoples' cases about keeping stories in the proper verb tense. It's easy to break the habit and it will improve the quality of your writing ten fold. Congrats, you now write like an 8th grader is SUPPOSE to!!!

Three, even if it's just dialog, make it descriptive. He said/she said grows boring after a page or two. Use a thesaurus if you must, but make the audience see your characters' faces. I imagine I'm a director and I want these actors to really understand the character in that moment.

1) "I can't believe it," he said. --- boooring
2) "I can't believe it," he cried out in disbelief. --- eh, getting there
3) His eyes opened wide as his mouth unhinged, as if opening it wider would allow him to ingest the wonder before him, or at the least vomit it back up into something resembling logic. "I can't believe it," he muttered numbly, not caring if it sounded so cliche that he would have been jeered out of a drama class.

You got the idea? Dialog is not the time for writers to take a creative break. Yes, there are times when the punchy, fast jabs back and forth work for showing the wit between two characters, but eventually your reader will imagine two spotlighted characters on a propless stage, not an heiress to a kingdom who turns into a unicorn.

Four, make all events in the story relevant. I have a problem with this, merely because I write a great part, then forget what happened. Please, don't spend five chapters writing an awesome scene, only to have it so disjunct that you could scrap it and it won't change the book one bit. Your universe! Make it meaningful and fun.

Five, write your synopsis way in advance. Now, I'm one to write outlines and then throw them out the window, but at least know sort of what you want to do. Otherwise (and yes, this happened to me too) you get this awesome first five chapters, then hit a brick wall. What is the hero supposed to do with his stolen dragon egg? Nurrr... I dunno... Story gets shelved, byebye idea.

Six, realize you will likely write the beginning last, so don't sweat it. If you can totally visualize sections, feel free to write them out and keep the notes all together. Work out a character sheet. Yeah, sort of D&D, but it totally helps. What color of eyes? (I learned that when my character went through 3 eye colors and two hair colors). Does he have hobbies? Can you work that in? Strengths? Weakness? All main characters have weaknesses. Even Superman did, right? It makes them believable.

Well, I can think of many other things that make the difference between okay writing and something that will have the NY Times screaming in bold caps, "RIVITING!" but, I don't want to write much more or I'll never get back to my nanowrimo novel. I'll leave you with this final bit of writing advice that works wonders. To quote Mark Twain: "Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

Happy writing!