I Will Write What I Want

I will write what I want.
I will not write what you tell me to write.
I will not stop writing what you dislike.
I will not write what I dislike just because you like it.
I write a lot.
I update constantly.
If I'm not updating your favorite story, just wait.
I write variety, depending on how I feel that day.
I will not focus on a story unless my mind is prepared for it.
If I haven't updated in a month, my mind is obviously not prepared for it.

I do not use other people's Original Characters.
I will not cross-over into your ongoing story simply to promote you.
I will only promote a story that inspired that particular chapter/scene.
If you are pestering me to promote you, chances are you probably don't inspire me.
I will not randomly "squeeze in" your favorite shipping just because you want to see it.
I will not "just update something."
I will update when the chapter is done and proofread.

I go through phases.
You may not like my current phase.
Don't hate me if I'm having fun in one of my random phases.
Killing my "groove" will not get you what you want.
Writing in every single review, "The story was good but it'd be great if XX and YY got together" when XX and YY are not anywhere in the story, will not get you what you want.
I like hearing suggestions, they can inspire me, but don't get enraged if I don't take your suggestion. It was nice of you to write it, but that doesn't always mean I can work the idea into what I have planned.
Yes, my stories are usually planned out, in detail.
If I'm writing about something, obviously I like it, and telling me "that couple sucks," or "I hate stories like this" will not inspire me to write in new directions. It will make me frustrated, and all creativity, including what you hate and what you potentially like, will die. It will not give birth to what you like. Creativity is not a frigging phoenix.

I like to see requests, but one at a time, please! Sending me 10 story ideas every day will not make me write more of what you want. I hate to think you spent all that time writing your ideas down when I could have told you up front "I don't have time."
If I say "I don't have time," don't send me more story ideas "but they're one-shots!" I...don't...have...time.
I am not looking for another collaborator. I only use one, because she's that good.
I will answer questions on how to write. I will not give you the whole story. Unless it's a gift. Don't demand gifts.
If I tell you I'm busy, I'm busy. Sending me your full manuscript with the note "read it when you have time," and then crying because 3 days have passed and I haven't read it, will not make me read it. I'm busy.

If I haven't PM'ed you back, you are in the queue. I chat a lot...I mean A LOT! I have 10-50 PMs at any given time. There are days when I'll write to 20 people, and there are days when I don't feel social. I am also out of town frequently with music bands. I don't hate you. I'm too busy writing stories to write PMs all the time. Sometimes you catch me and I write directly back, sometimes I get bogged down and you might wait 2 weeks. That's just the way it is. Keep getting angry and whining "you're ignoring me again" like a clingy girlfriend (even if in jest) and I might purposely put off your PMs, because I simply don't have the patience to talk to you.

I get writer's block.
I burn out.
I am SERIOUSLY burning out on fanfiction in general.
If I have written "This story is on hiatus" then it's on frigging HIATUS.
If I'm not updating the story you particularly like... tough luck. At least it's not on hiatus.
Writing to me weekly "when will you update" will not speed me up.
Telling me to stop working on my current obsession because you want this other story, will not speed me up.
Leaving reviews under different names but saying the same "Y U No Update" message every time, will not speed me up.

I do not take vague requests of "Can you write about this couple," especially if I have 10 stories on that couple.
I do not accept all story requests. They need to interest me personally, and that's pretty random. Even if I accept a request, realize that I'm working on about 12 stories at any given time, with 50 in the queue. Some people have waited a year or more.
Don't ask me every day "What about that request I sent you?" It's in the queue, with 50 other stories.
Especially don't ask when I said I don't have time to write requests until autumn.
Don't keep asking "Are you free now? Aren't you on summer break?" No. I'm an adult. We don't get summer break.

Nagging me does not make me faster.
Calling me names does not spur me on.
Threats never work.
If any of these fit you, I don't hate you. You are not the only one. These are issues that have come up multiple times, so it's not like I'm singling you out.

I will write what I want, when I want, at the pace I can mentally handle.
I love to write. I love to chat. I love to help young writers. But please...I'm just one person!

Thanks.